Some pages of a torn- diary (part-2 )

Some pages of a torn- diary
(by alok nandan, dedicated to a Nightingale)
(Here is some next pages)
19 March
Today I met one of my old professors. He was a socialist leader but now he has changed his religion. He has accepted Budhism. All his dress has changed… He looked like a monk, a devil monk. Earlier he would abuse the whole Hindu system and its Gods and Godesses, and even today he was abusing them much confidently. Before accepting Budhism he was a proclaimed Marxist, and was very much hopeful for an upcoming revolution. Earlier somewhere I was highly fascinated by him, but now I can say he is a fool, He neither understands Hindusim, nor Marxism and nor even Budhism.I told him to do some constructive works and he started abusing me. He was planning to go to China. I wish he must be shoot there, he is a alive hell ! Always talk about destruction.

20 March
Today two young British men came at our English Institute. They were invited by me. During conversation one of them commented that Mr. Mohan Das Karamchand Gandhi was the helper of British. It was his natural comment, and I realized that he was telling truth. Letter I went through his ‘My Experiment with Truth’. This book has been written by a very simple mind. In this book he has accepted very honestly about the events and experience of his life. Mr. Gandhi is great due to his simplicity. His death attracted me. He was killed by a so called fanatic named Nathuram Godse. I tried my level best to understand the mind of Nathuram Godse. I got a book ”Gandhi Wadh kyon? (Gandhi killing why?) by Gopal Nath Godse. According to this book, Gandhi was killed due to Political reasons. The death of Mr. Gandhi is more glorious than his deeds. All his political movement was not successful. Once I said this before an old Gandhian and he was very much furious with me. Even he was ready to hit me, then I told him that you were going against philosophy of non-violence. Anyhow he controlled himself. I always enjoy irritating people.

23 March
The electric girl gave me a message. She wanted to meet me. I was pleased to listen it. Today we went into a zoo and talked a lot. She told me that she was a painter and had interest in music. Her eyes are big and beautiful. But she is a clever girl who has a lot of boy-friends. She told me a lot of stories of her boy-friends. I feel a strong desire to kiss her lips but anyhow I controlled myself. I asked her to make a portrait of Adolf Hitler, and she gave me assurance. I am going to provide her the cover page of Mein Kamph. Let me see her work. I always feel a strong passion towards painting. I invited her to my Omen, and she promised me to come. I am waiting for that day. Meanwhile, I have a soft corner for that black girl and her sister too. When the director told me that the black girl was engaged with someone, a cloud of sorrow covered my mind and heart. I was very much frustrated and director provided me wine to sink. I drank too much, but my sorrow was more powerful than the intoxication of wine. Now I am thinking about her younger sister and the painter girl. The would be civil servant is now frustrating me. Again and again he is talking about committing suicide. I bought some poison from a snake holder and gave him and told, ”use it, your problem will be solved.” He was surprised to listen me.When Mr. Gandhi did not dare to commit suicide after taking a firm decision in his early age, how could he do? Killing a man is more easy than suicide. Suicide needs more and more courage, better to say extreme courage.

25 March
The painter girl has gave me ”Godan” written by Premchand. I like the character of Miss Malati. I love her, I love her. She is a beautiful and a brilliant woman. She loves Dr Mehata who is a philosopher. I love Premchand’s firsts story ”Duniya ka sabase Anmol Ratan.” He is an idealistic writer. When I turned the pages of Godan I got one letter and three poetries written by the painter girl. She is asking for my first story that had been sent to her earlier but she had refused to accept it. I do not know where the story is now. I have to search and I will search it for her.

27 March
The blond girl is still angry with me. I know her all secrets through the director. She is very much possessive to the director and he enjoys her possession. A new student has also knocked the door of his heart, and at the same time he is in love with her. The blond girl knows it and she is complaining against it. Sometimes he has some difficult situation regarding them but he manages very well, and says to manage more than one girl is an art. He is very proud of his art. Somewhere the blond girl is thinking to marry with him. He, too, wants same thing but he is afraid of his orthodox father who will never allow him to marry with her. He asks me what to do, and I do not know what to say.

30 March
Life is easy with wine and books. Still I have not decided about my future. One thing is very clear to me that I have ability to write. I can see those things that people miss easily. Let me enjoy my life with wine and books. I have decorated my hut according to my choice. There are one table and one chair, made of woods, in the hut. The table is full of different kind of books. There is also a bed in the hut. I have made a small window in the hut. An open and big ground can be seen through the window. I love this ground. At the corner of the ground there is a wireless office; it controls the air-traffic, two kilometer away there is an airport, the main airport of the city. This wireless office is connected with the airport. In the morning one can see, through my small window, those people who are busy in morning walk and the boys who play cricket and football. The first ray of the sun enters into my hut through this window. No one can imagine how much I love my hut.

1 April
I have just finished ”My university” by Maxim Gorky and going through ”My apprenticeship”. ”My childhood ” is, too, waiting for me. I love his words most, specially the world and characters he depicts. He is the real representative of the proletariat of Russian Society. I have never seen such types of writing. His life intoxicates me. He is a real genius. Let me read him. He is great ! I have decided that one day I will represent my own world through my writings, I am going to be a writer, and nothing else. I have to create magic through my words, for it I will work hard. I have to create my own style, that will not match with any other style. But first I have to understand styles of other great writers. I don’t want to follow them, I just want to understand them, so that I can create my won unique style. Let me start from Maxim Gorky. I will re-write his books, all the books. I will start with ”My University.”

April 5.
I am working very systematically with ”My University.” Without changing any words of a sentence, I am transforming the sentence from simple to compound, from compound to complex and from complex to mixed, and vice versa. It is an interesting and mechanical work. With each day I am improving my expertise, I think very soon I will be in position to play with sentences. ”My University” is a translated work, From Russian to English, so it allow me to work with it pleasantly. As well, I am thinking to do the same work with the editorial of any standard newspaper, it will give my writing a finishing touch regarding contemporary English.

April 7.
The painter girl has created a wonder regarding the portrait of Adolf Hitler. She has done a great job. She has made two portraits of Hitler, she has given one to me and has remained one for herself. But she has done a silly mistake, she has not made the Swastika mark perfectly. And I hate it. She has given me her five new poetry. I enjoy her silly poetries, these are full of love and emotion, although these are constructed not according to the grammar of poetry. Her lips are red, I always feel a strong desire to kiss them. I will take an attempt, no matter what will be the consequence. Will she oppose me? I do not understand a girl’s psychology, but I have to understand it. Next time, I am going to kiss her lips. Wow ! The kissing idea is exciting me.

April 9.Adolf Hitler has written more than five hundred poetries for his first love, although he did not give her a single poetry.

11 April
I have changed the ribbon of my typewriter, but still it is not working well. T, D, E, S letters are completely vanished. Its green color has completely changed. I am trying hard to improve my speed. I have an bookshelf in my hut, its glass is broken. Rates move in it freely, I provide them bread so that they cannot harm my books. I do not want to kill them, I am always against killing any creature. All creature are gift of nature. I love nature and its law too much. I have hung the portrait of Hitler in my Omen. Whenever I see it I feel the girl. I am determined to kiss her…I am just waiting for her.

13 April
Horrible!Horrible !! Horrible !!! The smell of her mouth was horrible! When I kissed her, I feel the bad smell of her breath. I was just to vomit. Then and there I drank two glasses of water. She was afraid to see my reaction and asked, ”What happened?”. I say simply say, ”the smell of your mouth is not good. Next time when you come here, wash your mouth properly.” A polite suggestion to beautiful women: must wash her teeth and mouth properly.
To me first kissing experience is not pleasant.

Note : I am constantly struggle hard to read out more and more pages of the diary. Wait for more.

dhanyavad

Some pages of a torn-diary

(by alok nandan, dedicated to a Nightingale)
18 January
It was a cold evening, and I was in need to smoke. I just came outside of my hut and went to roadside. Buying three navy-cuts and a match box I was walking on the road, I love roads very much, especially the open and endless road. I went ahead and ahead smoking and watching the people. All of sudden I saw a board of an English speaking course. I felt strong desire to teach English. I entered into the institutes and met the young director and asked him to allow me to take a class. He was surprised but understood my mind and permitted me to enter into the class. I started from the history of English, and explained before them how French literature is more interesting and superior than English literature. I tried my level best to prove that if Nepolian Bonapart had won England, today we would have learnt French not English. Masses always follows the rulers and this is the universal truth.All the student were surprised to listen me, and I enjoyed it. I have been offered to take the class regularly by the young director. I love it so I d do it.

22 January
She is a blond, beautiful and tall girl, but does not attract me. Although she has enmity with me, I am trying my level best to find out the reason. The director has allowed me to use his luxurious room. one can get her all sorts of comforts. I am found of the big table in the room. I sit here and write continuously, specially about those characters who are revolving around me. One of them is a black girl, I love black beauty. She is my student. She always sits on the first bench. I enjoy her eyes full of life, and funny nature.

23 January.
Today is Sunday. The director asks me to come with him. He has a bullet motorcycle and runs it like a plane. I love to sit behind him. He wanted to buy some books so we went into a famous book shop of the city. He bought some grammar books, and I chose Mein Kamph and The Rise and Fall of The Third Reich. Then We drank four bottles bear together.I always love drinking and smoking, I do not like any argument against it. Let me enjoy Mein Kamph. Good night.

2 February
What a character Adolf Hitler is ! Marvelous ! Excellent !! Genius !!! Not as Leader or dictator, but as an artist. He had only one dream to be an painter and nothing else. For his life dream he stood against his father will who wanted to make him a civil servant. I am sinking deep with words of Mein Kamph.The blong beautiful girl is engaged the young director.She is his student.She does not like me because she always sees me with the director of the institute. She has asked him to kick me off, but he likes me so he tells me everything. I have told him about the black girl and he is laughing. He wants to help me in this regard. Let me see what kinds of help he provides. The students are fine. I am using a book Living English Structure. They are enjoying its exercise works. I mostly believe in home work. So I compel them to do more and more home works. In class room I only like delivering speech.

6 February.
The director has a dog named Tyson. It is horrible but very friendly with the young director. Tyson helps him in many ways. He orders him to sit in front of the door when the tall beautiful girl spends her time inside the room. Seeing Tyson no one dare to come at the door. But Tyson does not disturb me. I can knock the door anytime, and certainly she does not like it. But I do not care about her likeness. I just go according to my own way. It frustrates her and I enjoy her frustration. I am reading Mein kamph with the bottles of bear in my hand. Adolf has spent countless day and night without food during his struggle and I am enjoying his struggle with the gulp of bear, is not interesting? The black wants to become a doctor and she has all ready taken two attempts, needless to say unsuccessful attempts.

8 February
I love my hut. I have named it OMEN. I have typewriter, an old typewriter. I have started typing. For typing I use newspapers editorial. The typewriter is a hell, all its fonts not working properly. It was being used by a Socialist Trade Union Leader. I came to know it latter.

12 February
There is railway track near my hut. I often go there, specially in night. I pick up two stones and strike them against each-other. I love the sparks that comes out after striking them. Its attracts me like a naked girl. Then I smell the stones again and again. it seems like gunpowder. I am highly fascinated with this smell. I always continues with this works whole nights. The black girl shows her interest in literature, but I don’t think she is a literary girl. She seems to me blockhead with chirping nature.

14 February
It is interesting to play cricket, Football is more interesting than the cricket.Today we have won a match and I have been proclaimed Man of the match. I threw good balls and took five wickets. Really it was an interesting match.

17 February
The political climate has become hot. Leaders from all parties are knocking doors. Today a leader from a particular party has come to me for help. He wanted to do a public meeting in this locality. I was arranging all the thing in a big ground. The stage had been made, the posters and banners had been hung but for mike we had no electricity facility. I asked one of the boy to consult the particular house besides the ground. Very soon he came back and informed that a girl is not agree to give electricity. I was very angry and went to the house and knocked the door. A beautiful girl opened the door. I asked her bluntly, ”Why are you not giving line?”
She said, ”I have no objection.” I was completely knock down. Latter, when I went to the stage, I started speaking fluently, looking towards the girl. She used to give me pleasant smile and I completely forgot the public. I was addressing only and only her. When the meeting was dissolved, and met her and told her boldly, I love you. Her answer was, It will be decided by my father. It is a historical day in life.

25 February
I am drinking too much, and reading nothing. But I have been trying my level best to write a story about the girl. And I have completed it. At the same time, I am thinking about the black girl. Is it against morality? If yes go to hell! I do not care about morality. I know simple thing as youth I can love more than one girl.

27 February
I have finished Mein Kamph and looking more about Adolf. Today I went to the City library for Kubijek and fortunately found out ‘ Young Hitler’ by Kubijek. He was his roommate in Munich when Hitler was young and struggling for the admission in art college. According Kubijek Hitler would love a young blond girl. It was one sided love. But he was confident that she too loved him, though he had never explained his love before her…It means would be dictator was not so courageous in love filed…I am more courageous than him, at least I have told the beautiful girl, I love you. I have to send my story to her, but how , I don’t know.

3 March
The director has told me a lot of secret about a woman’s body. I am surprised to listen him. I want to go through a girl.

5 March
I am reading Discovery of India by Neharu. What a mind he has! He has explored Indian very well in this book. A Neharu’s Indian is emerging before my mind. But I don’t like his international action. When he was coming from Switzerland to Indian by ship with his wife and only one daughter, he halt one day in Rome. At that time Mussolini was Italy. He asked Neharu to meet him but he refused because he did not want to send a negative message to the world. He was a democratic leader and did not want meet a Fascist leader. If were Nehru I would meet Mussolini.

9 March
Perhaps I have gone mad…Today I meet the black’s younger. she has just entered into college. She is found of literature. She was demanding some goods and I gave her ”The Mother” by Maxim Gorky. She gave me Sekhar Ek Jiwani. It is wonderful book…I flow with Sekhar’s life…What a character he is! I love the younger one for this good book…In fact I love her most. Besides it I sent my story to the electric girl, and she has
returned it without reading…Go to hell ! Why a girl rejects a boy I don’t understand. I have to change my mind.

10 March
Today a young man came to meet me. He is preparing for the Civil Service. He asked me to help him. He said that he was unable to concentrate over the subject. He asked me to come with his room. I went there. What the hell story he had.! He had engaged with her aunt daughter, both sexually and emotionally and had taken two attempts for committing suicide. He wanted my moral support. I promised him to help him. But he is a hell!

16 March
Whenever I sit to write my diary I feel that I am doing great thing. For last one week I am regular visiting the sister lover. He has a lot of books, specially over Indian history. One after I am finishing them, I have read ‘India That Was Wonder’ by L.M Basham. It is a good book, depicting the fundamental ideas of India, specially its great and mysterious culture. One wants to understand India must go through this books. Besides its I have read a lot of Ancient India. I like Chadragupta very much. English classes and bear are continue. For it thanks to young director.Wine is the most beautiful thing created by man. After consuming it a fundamental man emerges, a poet starts poetry, a philosopher thinks high, a scientist creates new invention and a criminal thinks about crime…if you want to understand a person, read him after consuming licker. I love wine..
I love wine… I love wine…

17 March
I have just finished an essay written by Lord Curzan when he was a young student of class 10. In his essay he writes, I want to go to India as an officer, so that I can do my best there. As young aspiring student he was thinking about Indian. Wow! Really he was a man of strong will. I love him. As well I love Aurangjeb, He has not been evaluated very well by the historians. …In future I will try to evaluate him. He was a lover of music but he did not allow music in his won kingdom.

18 March
What is ambition? Why Andrei Bolokonski wants to go to war field against Nepolian Bonapart who is his hero? What is death? Is there anything important than life? What is life? What the hell I am thinking? But the old Russian writer has not done justice with The little corporal, after all he was not from the royal bold. Is there any difference between blood of royal and blood of peasant ? Blood ! Blood !! Blood !!! It is red and hot, and the country that loves blood always go ahead, at least the history of civilization say so. What Nitezche says, War is not the means but end. The whole Germany arose with this philosophy, and the world saw two world wars…..Blood ! Blood !! Blood !!!
I have to understand the philosophy of blood? The pure blood and the impure blood.

Wait for the next pages……of this diary
note : It is an old diary, so too difficult to read. Anyhow I have managed to read out some texts.

dhanyavad

आप किस गड्ढे में हैं?

सलाहू अड गया है. उसने अभी-अभी मुझसे फोन करके कहा है, ‘देखो भाई! मै तो गड्ढे मे गिरूंगा और अब यह जिम्मेदारी तुम्हारी है कि मेरे लिए गड्ढा खोजो. गड्ढा भी कोई ऐसा-वैसा नही. ऐसा गड्ढा ढूंढो जो कम से कम 50 फुट गहरा हो.’
मै सचमुच बहुत असमंजस मे हूँ. समझ नही पा रहा हूँ कि ऐसा गड्ढा मै देश की राजधानी मे कहाँ से ले आऊँ. पहले तो मुझे यह लगा कि वह मजाक कर रहा है. लिहाजा मैने उसे उसी लहजे मे जवाब दे दिया. मैने कहा, ‘देखो भाई! मुझे तो यहाँ एक ही गड्ढा दिखाई दे रहा है. वह रायसीना की पहाडियो पर है. लेकिन उस गड्ढे मे गिरने की दो शर्ते है. एक तो यह कि तुम चुनाव लडो और फिर वहाँ पहुँचो. इसके लिए अभी तुमको करीब एक साल इंतजार करना पडेगा. क्रिश्न चन्दर के कई प्रिय पात्रो को पिताश्री कहना पडेगा. इसके बाद भी जरूरी नही है कि तुम इस गड्ढे मे गिर ही सको. क्योंकि चुनाव केवल इतने से नही जीता जा सकता. इसके अलावा एक और तरीका है. वह यह कि तुम किसी एमपी से लिखवा कर पास बनवा लो और थोडी देर मे गिर कर वापस आ जाओ.’
हैरत है कि मेरी किसी बात का कभी न बुरा मानने वाला सलाहू इस बात पर सख्त बुरा मान गया, ‘हर बात को मजाक के अन्दाज मे लेना बन्द करो. वरना ज़िन्दगी चौपट हो जाएगी. कभी-कभी गम्भीर भी हो जाया करो. मै जो कह रहा हूँ उसे गौर से सुनो और सुबह तक हर हाल मे गड्ढे का इंतजाम करो.’
मुझे लग गया कि सलाहू वास्तव मे गम्भीर है और वह सचमुच गड्ढे मे गिरना ही चाहता है. पर वह ऐसा क्यो करना चाहता है, यह बात अभी भी मेरी समझ मे नही आई थी. मैने पूछ ही लिया, ‘अच्छा तो यह बताओ कि यह ज़रूरत तुमको अचानक क्यो पड गई? क्या भौजाई से कुछ गड्बड हो गई है? आखिर तुम क्यो खुदकुशी पर आमादा हो? अगर ऐसी कोई बात हो तो बताओ. मै अभी तुम्हारे घर आ जाता हूँ. मियाँ-बीवी मे तकरार होती ही रह्ती है. अव्वल तो होती ही रहनी चाहिए, पर उसे इस हद तक बढने देना नही चाहिए कि खुद्कुशी की नौबत आ जाए. खुद से झगडा न सुलट सके तो दोस्तो की मदद ले लेनी चाहिए.’
पर सलाहू मेरी बात पर और बिफर पडा, ‘अबे खुदकुशी करे मेरे दोस्त. मै क्यो खुदकुशी करने लगा? मुझे तो बस गड्ढे मे गिरना है, मरना थोडे ही है. इसके बाद मुझे निकालना होगा और वह जुम्मेदारी भी तुम्हारी.’
उसकी इस बात ने मेरा बीपी और बढा दिया, ‘अबे मेरे जैसा सिकिया पहलवान आदमी जो खुद गड्ढे मे झांकते हुए भी डरता है वह तुम्हे क्या खाक निकालेगा?’
‘अरे बेवकूफ तुम्हे कौन कह रहा है निकालने के लिए?’ सलाहू गुर्राया, ‘तुम कितने हिम्मतवर हो ये तो मै जानता ही हूँ.’
‘फिर?’
‘तुमको करना बस ये है कि सेना बुलानी है. और सेना कैसे आएगी, यह भी लो मुझसे ही जान लो.’
‘कैसे आएगी?’
‘सुनो तुम बस ये करोगे कि पहले गड्ढा मेरे लिए गड्ढा ढूंढोगे. फिर तुम खुद सहाफी हो ही. तो इलेक़्ट्रानिक मीडिया मे तुम्हारे कई दोस्त भी है. तो फिर उनमे से किसी एक को इनफोर्म कर दोगे. इसके पहले कि मै गड्ढे तक पहुंचूँ वे भी अपने-अपने ओबी वैन ले कर निकल लेंगे और जब मै गड्ढे मे गिरूंगा तो वे भी पहुंच जाएंगे. फिर वे लाइव टेलीकास्ट शुरू करेंगे. इसके बाद पहले तो पुलिस आएगी. लेकिन वह कुछ कर तो पाएगी नही. लिहाजा फायर ब्रिगेड आएगी. वह भी नाप-जोख लेने के अलावा कुछ और नही कर पाएगी. फिर सेना आ जाएगी. अब सेना हार तो मान सकती नही. उनके ताबूत तक के पैसे चाहे कोई पटवारी खा जाए, पर उन्हे अपनी जान की भी कीमत पर देश तो बचाना होगा. उस वक़्त चूंकि टीवी चैनल मेरे दर्द का लाइव टेलीकास्ट कर रहा होगा, लिहाजा पूरे देश की नजरे मुझ पर होंगी. अब जाहिर है, ऐसे हालात मे देश भी मै ही होउंगा. तो मुझे बचाना सेना इकलौता फर्ज होगा. इसलिए वह कम से कम चौबीस और ज्यादा से ज्यादा छत्तीस घंटे मशक्कत करेगी. अब इस दरमियान पूरे देश को गौर फरमाने और बिसूरने तथा मीडिया को दिखाने और छापने के लिए धांसू आइटम मिलेगा. और अपन को जानते हो इससे क्या मिलेगा?’
‘क्या?’ हक्का-बक्का सा मै उसकी बाते वैसे ही सुन रहा था जैसे कतार का अंतिम आदमी नई आई सरकार के दावे सुनता है.
‘मुफ्त की पब्लिसिटी बेवकूफ’ उसने बताया, ‘जिससे मेरी मरगिल्ली वकालत सिर्फ चल ही नही निकलेगी, जेट की रफ्तार से उडने लगेगी.’ साथ ही उसने दुबारा सख्त ताकीद भी कर दिया, ‘और सुनो, इसमे कोई लापरवाही नही चलेगी. सुबह तक तुम मुझे हर हाल मे बताओ कि ऐसा गड्ढा कहाँ है और साथ ही अपने किसी इलेक्ट्रानिक मीडिया वाले साथी को बुला भी लो.’
सलाहू की इस ताकीद के बाद वोट दे चुके भारतीय नागरिक की तरह कुछ देर तक तो मै किंकर्तव्यविमूढ रहा. फिर मैने दिमाग के सातो घोडे खुले छोडे तो उनमे सबसे पहला तो तुरंत दौड कर सब्जी मंडी पहुंच गया. उसने वही से भाव बताते हुए अपने लाइव टेलीकास्ट का निष्कर्ष देना शुरू किया, ‘ देखिए जी देश का सबसे बडा गड्ढा जो है सो तो यही है.’
इसके पहले कि मै उसके निष्कर्ष का कोई निचोड निकाल पाता, दूसरे ने बहुत जोरदार आपत्ति की. लगभग वैसे ही जैसे किसी निरीह आदमी की सुविधाशुल्करहित फाइल पर सरकारी बाबू जताते है, ‘ये ल्लो. कभी किसी तहसील मे आकर देखा है? पटवारी या कानूनगो से कही मिले हो? एक बार आओ देखो तो जानोगे कि इससे बडा गड्ढा दुनिया मे दूसरा नही है.’
तीसरा उसकी बात सुनकर इतनी हिकारत से हिनहिनाया जैसे किसी पढाने वाले मास्टर को देखकर शिक्षा विभाग के अधिकारी और अपने-आप पढने वाले गरीब छात्रो को देखकर गणित-विग्यान के योग्य शिक्षक हिनहिनाते है, ‘ससुर के नाती! ये ग्यान का गड्ढा देखा है कभी? पूरा सौर मंडले इसी मे समाया हुआ है.’
इसके पहले कि मै कुछ फैसला कर पाता, मोबाइल फिर घनघनाया. पहले तो मै डरा कि कही ऐसा तो नही कि सुबह हो गई और सलाहू जाग गया हो. पर नही वहाँ नम्बर मेरे पांचवे घोडे का फ्लैश हो रहा था. आंसर वाली कुंजी दबाते ही वह बिफरा, ‘अकिल काम करती नही है. जहाँ पाते है वही चार नम्बर को दौडा देते है. कुछ पता भी है क्या हुआ?’
मैने कहा, ‘भाई देख मै पहले से ही बहुत परेशान हूँ. अब तू बुझौवल न बुझा. साफ-साफ बता?’
‘अरे वो नोएडा के एक थाने मे घुस गया और उसमे गड्ढे की सम्भावना तलाशने लगा. थाने वालो को पता लगा उन्होने उसे पकड कर हवालात मे ठूँस दिया है. उस पर आईपीसी की कई धाराएँ भी लगा दी है. अब गड्ढे से सेना भले किसी को दो-चार दिन मे निकाल ले पर यहाँ से तो उसे शायद ही कोई निकाल सके.’
‘अच्छा खैर उसकी छोडो. अभी तुम बताओ कहाँ हो?’
‘मेरी चिंता छोडो. मै बडे मजे मे हूँ. असल मे मै यहाँ एक टीवी चैनल मे आ गया था कि पुलिस की ज्यादती के खिलाफ उन्हे बताने से कुछ मदद मिल जाएगी. पर उन्होने तो अभी मुझे ही पकड लिया है. वे कह रहे है कि धाराए और घटना तो बाद मे भी जान लेंगे, पहले आप अपनी बाइट दे दीजिए. इसके बाद वो थाने पर भी चलेंगे और चार नम्बर का भी लाइव टेलीकास्ट करेंगे. भूलना मत तुम. टीवी अभी खोल लो. हमारा वाला लाइव टेलीकास्ट बस अब शुरू ही होने जा रहा है.’
मैने टीवी खोल लिया. पर यह क्या? वहाँ तो चार के बजाय छै नम्बर दिख रहा था. वह किसी कचहरी मे खडा था. एक प्रोफेशनल गवाह से सौदा कर रहा था. इस बात की गवाही देने के लिए कि ब्रह्मांड का सबसे बडा गड्ढा जो है वो वही है. उसे इसके लिए बीस हजार चाहिए थे और छै नम्बर दस हजार से ज्यादा देने को तैयार नही था. तब तक सातवे के हिनहिनाने की आवाज आई. उसका हुक़्म था कि चुपचाप मेरी पीठ पर बैठो और वहाँ चलो जहाँ मै ले चलूँ. मै एक आग्याकारी सवार की तरह बैठ गया. पर यह क्या? उसने मुझे एक जगह ले जाकर पटका और बोला, ‘देख ये है इस ब्रह्मान्ड का सबसे गहरा गड्ढा. इसमे जो गिरा वह ऐसा गिरा कि आम आदमी के चरित्र से भी ज्यादा नीचे चला गया.’
मैने नजर दौडाई तो पाया कि यह तो रायसीना हिल्स ही था. पर मै जानता हूँ सलाहू इसे गड्ढा मानने को तैयार नही होगा. मैने सात नम्बर को डपटा, ‘इस तरह ऊल-जलूल बाते मत किया करो. वरना कल ही तुम्हारा एडमिशन आलोक पुराणिक के कालेज मे करा दूँगा.’
पर अफ्सोस कि उस पर मेरी बात का असर उलटा हुआ. वैसे ही जैसे जेल मे जाकर बडे माफियाओ पर होता है. उसने मेरे जनरल नोलेज पर ही सवाल उठा दिया, ‘तुमको कुछ पता भी है? यह बात तुम्हारे राष्ट्र चाचा तक कह चुके है. जानते हो जब भारत मे पहली बार क्रिषि आधारित योजना बनी तो जरूरत पडी यह जानने की कि हमारे पास देसी खाद कितनी होती है. इसके लिए केन्द्र सरकार ने आंकडे जुटाने की जिम्मेदारी सौपी राज्य सरकार को. राज्य सरकार ने मसला छोड दिया डीएम के सिर, डीएम ने एसडीएम को और एसडीएम ने बीडीओ को.  बीडीओ ने वीडीओ  यानी विलेज लेवेल वर्कर को, जो अब वर्कर न रह कर अफसर हो गया है और वीडीओ कहा जाने लगा है. कुल मिलाकर निष्कर्ष यह निकला कि हर ग़ांव मे मौजूद गड्ढे गिन लिए जाए और उनके रक्बे का एवरेज निकाल कर सरकार को भेज दिया जाए.
बहरहाल हमारे देश मे हर योजना की नियति है उसके भाग्य का अंतिम फैसला पटवारी करते है. उन्हे अब लेखपाल कहा जाता है. आखिरकार यह काम भी पटवारी साहब के सिपुर्द कर दिया गया. सारे पटवारी साहब लोगो ने अपने-अपने इलाके के एक-एक गांव के एक-एक गड्ढे का रक्बा निकाला और सारे गड्ढे गिन लिए. उनको राउंड फिगर बनाया और जोड कर भेज दिया. अब ये फाइले फिर ब्लाक, तहसील, जिला स्तर की बाधाएँ पार करती-करती दिल्ली आ गई और अंततः जैसी कि इस देश की अधिकतम सौभाग्यशाली फाइलो की नियति है, रायसीना पहाडियो पर पहुंची.   
कहने को कुछ भी कह ले, लेकिन इस देश मे पटवारी से बडा अफसर कोई नही होता. यहाँ तक कि प्रधानमंत्री और उनके मुख्य सचिव भी नही.  यह बात आजाद हिन्दुस्तान का पहला प्रधानमंत्री होने के नाते नेहरू जी जानते थे. ये अलग बात है कि उनकी जनरल नालेज भी ठीक-ठाक थी. देश मे कम्पोस्ट के गड्ढो का जो रक्बा निकला, वह पूरे भारत के रक्बे से थोडा सा ज्यादा था. फिर भी  नेहरू  जी पटवारी जी के ख़िलाफ़ तो बात कर नहीं सकते थे. उन्हें ख़ुद अपने ही ज्ञान पर संदेह हुआ. लिहाजा उन्होंने पूछा कि भाई कोई बताए  कि आख़िर मैं किस गड्ढे में हूँ. नेहरू जी यह बात आख़िरकार नहीं जान सके. मैं भी कोशिश कर रहा हूँ कि जान सकूं, पर जान नही पाया हूँ. अब देखिए देश  तो पूरा गड्ढा ही है. अब आप भी जरा पता लगाइए कि आख़िर आप किस गड्ढे में हैं. अगर वह गड्ढा 50 फुट  से ज्यादा गहरा हो  तो मुझे बताए. ताकि मैं सलाहू को बता दूँ और वह उसमें  जाकर गिर जाए. जल्दी करिए . क्योंकि अभी उसकी लोकेशन  किसी टीवी वाले को भी बतानी है.

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dhanyavad

दूध, दारू और पानी

हाल ही मे होली पर मेरे एक मित्र, जिन्हे हम शोर्ट मे जे डी कहते है, ने एक मेसेज भेजा. मेसेज का लब्बोलुआब यह था कि भाई ऐन होली के दिन हमारे देश मे हजारो करोड गैलन पानी फालतू खर्च कर दिया जाता है. बेशक उनके इस सन्देश से हमे प्रभावित होना ही चाहिए. हम प्रभावित हुए भी. मन मे आया कि इस बार होली न मनाई जाए. फालतू पानी को बर्बाद न किया जाए. लेकिन हकीकत मे ऐसा कभी हो कहा पाता है. अव्वल तो सच यह है कि अगर ऐसे ही हम हिन्दुस्तानी अच्छी लगने वाली हर बात पर अमल करते चले तो खुद हमारी ही मुसीबत हो जाए.

यकीन न हो तो कर के देख लीजिए. इस बात से किसी को ऐतराज थोडे ही हो सकता है कि अगर हम सडक पर चल रहे हो तो ट्रैफिक के नियमो का ठीक-ठीक अनुपालन करते चले. पर भला करता कौन है. मैने एक बार कर के देखा है. इसी दिल्ली मे एक चौराहे पर लाल बत्ती जली और मै ठहर गया. इंतजार करने लगा कि भाई बत्ती हरी हो तो मै गियर बदलू और एक्सीलेटर उमेठूँ. इसके पहले कि बत्ती हरी होती जोर की पो-पो टाइप चिग्घाड मेरे कानो मे पडी और मै समझ गया कि किसी महान हस्ती को रास्ता चाहिए. उसकी दरकार यही है कि मै बत्ती के रंग की परवाह न करते हुए आगे बढू और उसे बढने दूँ. पर मेरे सिर पर तो नियम की

गठरी लदी थी. मै भला आगे कैसे बढ सकता था! लेकिन मै कौन सा आनन्द भवन के दायरे मे पैदा हुआ हूँ जो मेरे लिए इस महान देश की जनता इंतजार कर ले. पीछे आ रहे सज्जन ने मेरा इंतजार नही किया और उन्होने मुझे ठोंक दिया. अब इसके बाद जो हुआ होगा वह तो आप समझ ही सकते है.

वैसे ऐसे नियमो और उनके इसी तरह के अनुपालन के उदाहरण तो कई दिए जा सकते है, पर मै दूंगा नही. बस ये समझिए कि इसके बाद मै इस बात से बचता हूँ कि कही कोई नियम या सिद्धांत मुझे बहुत ज्यादा प्रभावित न कर दे, वरना फिर ……. खैर, उनकी इस बात ने मुझे प्रभावित तो किया पर मै इस चाह कर भी अमल नही कर सका. इसके लिए एक तर्क मुझे तुरंत मिल गया. अखबार के जिस पन्ने पर पेयजल के लिए दिल्ली के कई इलाको के बेहाल होने की खबर थी, उसी पर एक और फोटो भी लगा था. वाटर सप्लाई वाले बम्मे से हरहरा पानी का फव्वारा सा छूटता हुआ दिख रहा था. कैप्शन लगा था कि दिल्ली के लोग पेयजल के लिए बेहाल है, तभी हमारी सरकारी व्यवस्था इस तरह मुस्तैद है कि हजारो गैलन पेयजल इस तरह गन्दे नाले के हवाले हो रहा है.

यकीन मानिए, मुझे यह जानकर सचमुच बहुत संतोष हुआ कि चलो अब अपन की होली कायदे से मन जाएगी और किसी अपराध बोध का शिकार भी होना नही पडेगा. हर सच्चे भारतीय की तरह मै भी चुपचाप उठा और मेसेज पूरा पढे बगैर होली के हुडदंग मे शामिल होने चला गया. अजी जम कर होली खेली मैने. पर लौट कर मैने फिर जे डी के मेसेज पर नजर डाली. उनका आग्रह था कि इस बार होली पर एक संकल्प ले. वह यह कि हम पानी बचाएंगे. पर साहब बचाएंगे कैसे? तो ऐसे. दारू नीट पिएंगे. राष्ट्रहित मे पानी बचाने के लिए हम दारू मे पानी नही मिलाएंगे. नीट पिएंगे. खैर पी भी नीट. पर इसलिए नही कि जे डी के मेसेज का असर था. सिर्फ इसलिए कि पानी नही आ रहा था.

फिर भी यह लिखने का साहस मै अभी तक नही जुटा पाया था. पर अब मैने जुटा लिया है और इसके लिए मै वास्तव मे तह-ए-दिल से दिल्ली सरकार का आभारी हू. मै ही क्यो जी, मेरे जैसे तमाम सुर उसके आभारी है. आज की ताजा खबर यह है कि दिल्ली सरकार ने बजट मे ऐसी व्यवस्था बना दी है कि पानी की किल्लत भले हो पर दारू की किल्लत नही होने पाएगी. वह खूब मिलेगी और सबको मिलेगी. हर जगह मिलेगी. शर्त सिर्फ यह है कि जेब मे रकम हो.

इसके बाद से अभी जे डी से सम्पर्क तो नही हो पाया है, पर मै सोच रहा हूँ कि जरूर इसके पीछे कोई न कोई लोचा तो है. चाहे तो उसने यह मेसेज दिल्ली सरकार को भेजा हो या फिर दिल्ली सरकार ने ऐसा ही कोई मेसेज उसे भेजा हो. या फिर यह भी तो हो सकता है कि दोनो के बीच कोई समझौता हुआ हो. दिल्ली सरकार दूध की दुकाने नही बढाएगी, पर दूध की दुकाने बढाएगी. लेकिन नही-नही. मुझे ऐसा नही सोचना चाहिए. दिल्ली सरकार दिल्ली वालो की जैसी हितैषी है वैसे हितैषी सरकार मिलनी मुश्किल है. दूध का नाम आते ही मै समझ गया.  निश्चित रूप से यह सरकार शुद्धता की आग्रही है. जब पानी होता है तो उसका उपयोग पीने मे कम दूध मे मिलाने मे ज्यादा होता है. दारू की दुकाने तो ज्यादा होनी ही चाहिए. कम से कम उसके सिंथेटिक होने की आशंका तो नही होती. पक्का सरकार ने नए बजट मे बहुत अच्छा काम कीता जी!                     

Technorati Tags: satire,hindi literature,budget

dhanyavad

चढत चइत चित लागे न रामा……

Technorati Tags: indian music,current affairs

चढत चइत चित लागे न रामा

बाबा के भवनवा……

उपशास्त्रीय संगीत मे अधिक्रित घुसपैठिए के रूप मे प्रतिष्ठित लोकसंगीत की अत्यंत लोकप्रिय विधा के साथ मुश्किल यह है इसे साल मे सिर्फ एक महीने ही गाया-सुना जा सकता है. ऐसा नही कि बाकी समय इसकी धुन बजने से मना कर देती हो, पर इसे ठीक नही समझा जाता. यह वह वक़्त है जब फागुन जाने को तैयार है और चैत बिल्कुल द्स्तक ही दे रहा है. ऐसे समय मे कही चैता की धुन भी भोजपुरिया कान मे पड जाए तो सीधे दिल मे उतरती चली जाती है. ऐसे समय मे होरी और चैता दोनो साथ-साथ सुनने का मौका मिले तो भला कौन छोड्ना चाहेगा.

कुछ ऐसा ही आज हुआ. मौका था बनारस घराने की प्रसिद्ध शास्त्रीय गयिका पद्मभूषण गिरिजा देवी के सम्मान का. दिल्ली के इंडिया हैबिटैट सेंटर मे सखा क्रिएशंस की ओर से आज उन्हे द ग्रेट मास्ट्रोज़ एवार्ड भेट किया गया. एवार्ड दिया पंडित बिरजू महराज ने और इसी मौके पर अपना गायन प्रस्तुत किया अप्पा यानी गिरिजा देवी की शिष्या मालिनी अवस्थी ने.

‘उडत अबीर गुलाल’ शीर्षक इस आयोजन का श्रीगणेश उन्होने किया एक ठुमरी से. “नदिया धीरे-धीरे बहो …” पहली ही प्रस्तुति से समा ऐसा बन्धा कि नदिया ने धीरे-धीरे बहना शुरू कर दिया. सुरो की सरिता जब एक बार बह चली तो फिर उसने रुकने का नाम भी नही लिया. उपस्थिर श्रोता समुदाय उसके साथ-साथ बहता रहा, तब तक जब तक कि सुरो की सागर त्रिवेणी मे वह विलीन नही हो गई.

इस ठुमरी के बाद कार्यक्रम की धारा तुरंत मौसम के अनुकूल होरी की ओर मुडी- “रे रसिया तेरे कारन ब्रिज मे भई बदनाम….” एक और होरी “बरजोरी करो न मोसे होरी मे ….” भी उन्होने सुनाया. और फिर वह चैता जिसका जिक्र पहले ही हो चुका है. और समापन हुआ क्रिष्ण भक़्ति के रस मे पगे एक ब्रज गीत ” ब्रिज के बिरही लोग बिचारे ….” से. मालिनी के साथ तानपूरे पर संगत कर रही थी उनकी ही गुरुभगिनी पियाली. जबकि तबले पर उनका साथ दिया अख्तर हसन और हारमोनियम पर ज़मील अहमद ने. जाहिर है, कार्यक्रम की सफलता मे इनका योगदान भी कुछ कम उल्लेख्य नही है, पर क्या कर सकते है, शब्दकारो की सीमा यही है कि इनके बारे मे इससे ज्यादा कुछ कहा नही जा सकता.

dhanyavad

In search of creative genius in Indian Cinema

In search of creative genius in Indian Cinema

(an essay by alok nandan)

‘Will is the centre around which all the functions of life moves.’
Schopenhauer

The secret of genius lies in the clear and impartial perception of the object, the essential and the universal. On national theatre or better to say on the international theatre –Indian Film Industry is a place where different minds play with the different tools to produce most famous and popular arts, the film; the moving film; the motion picture. Here all the segments of art – photography, music, acting, dialogue, costume, lyric etc- are complied with the help of scientific discoveries, in field of science everyday new technology is being invented and implemented in order to make the film making process easy and effective. A film is the production of conjugation of science and art. So naturally this field-film making world- demands more and more genius.
A natural question arises here, who is genius or what is the criteria of genius? It is universal question and related with many fields, better to say with every walk of life. But with question we move only under the circle of Indian cinema as it is the laboratory where we will investigate the universal question-what is the definition of genius?
The basic line of this investigation will be the words of Schopenhauer, the German philosophers who have worked hard to find out the definition of a genius. This is the reason the opening sentence of the article starts with the word of Schopenhauer. Let us go with them in search of genius in Indian cinema.
Genius is simply the completest objectivity, -i.e. the objective tendency of mind. Is Amitabh Bachchan a genius? Does he has the objective tendency of mind to his different characters? To him what is the criteria of selecting a character and how he co-relate himself with the character?
Do the audience ever forget Amitabh Bachchan and co-relate themselves to the particular character played by him? Or his own personality stands between audience and the character? He has played and still playing different types of characters, and some of them are still fresh in the public memory while others have been vanished with the course of time. Why?
The answer is very simple. The roles that are still fresh in the public mind have been played by a genius mind, with the objective tendency of mind. The minds of characters have been penetrated by the objective tendency of a genius mind who is not influenced by his own popular personality. Having demolished himself completely he has entered and occupied the other brain objectively and then automatically his body language and behavior have changed and completely a new and different person emerged from him. And people are still fascinated with those characters like Vijay in Deewar and Trishul, Jay in Sholey, and Anthony in Amar Akabar Anthony.When he lacked the tendency of objectivity his own has personality reflected in the characters, that have not stimulated the public mind and all of them have been forgotten. The long journey of Amitabh Bachchan as an actor must be seen in this perspective. It means genius is not a permanent phenomena, it is a state of mind. When a person has an objective tendency of mind he is genius, when he sees the world subjectively his state of mind represents his personality.All actors or their works must be judged according to this way, from V.Shanta Ram to Ajay Devgan.
Again we continue with Schopenhauer, ‘Genius is mostly knowledge and little will while the man in general is mostly will and little knowledge.’ Is Ram Gopal Verma a genius? Is he a man of mostly knowledge and little will? He has given a new test in Indian Cinema and is considered as a genius by critic and masses. He has touched the zenith in his field, direction. In some extents whatever he has done, he has done with clear sight so why he can be said the man of knowledge. He has gone ahead, leaving his will aside, and understood all the functions of human mind, without involving himself in the affairs. To him, love, anger, satisfaction and dissatisfaction and all the human psychology are just matters of brain. He can be better understood by more and more knowledge. To him, human’s reactions are related with will but can be understood only through knowledge, through mind. And only through knowledge they can be perceived and demonstrated on the silver screen.

Schopenhauer says, ”Read the creator rather than the expositors and the critics.” In the same way Anurag
kashyap says,”Better to discuss the film maker than the films.’ It can be changed little as ‘Better to discuss the mind of a film maker than his films.” The work produced by a genius mind has value for the masses, but a genius, a man of knowledge, is always ready to jump into the mind of a creator; not its creation; because his hunger for more and more knowledge is infinite.

Without knowledge or objectivity was Raj kapoor able to make films like Awara, Jis Desh mein Ganga Hahati Hai,Prem Rog, Mera Nam Joker, Ram Teri Ganga Maili, etc.? He was a man of wide knowledge. He observed and perceived everything related human being very keenly and represented them on the silver screen, using the latest film technology of his time. Knowledge makes a man more objective. In other words the degree of knowledge increase the spectrum of brain and it is a special phenomena of a genius. Guru Dutt, Dev Anand, Rishikesh Mukharji, Gulzar can be interpreted as men of knowledge. Impartial perception of the object comes through knowledge.

Is genius has characteristics of abnormality? According to Schopenhauer, ”the fundamental condition of genius is an abnormal predominance of sensibility and irritability over reproductive power.” What does mean by abnormal predominance of sensibility? What is sensibility? By nature all men are sensible, but the degree of sensibility plays greater role in genius, as Schopenhauer believes, and it leads to genius to abnormality. The best example of this statement is Nana Patekar, a man full of sensibility. By the masses he is considered as a fanatic man. On the silver screen he has acted many fanatic characters and all the characters of this nature have been admired because whatever he has in side or in his conscious, he has acted on the screen. On the silver screen he seems like a real fanatic character.The wall between acting and real life disappeared and audience automatically enjoy the work of an abnormal pre-dominance of sensibility. We must not forget that extreme anger is also a part of abnormality. Nana Patekar, in his acting, creates his real anger and touches the hearts of audience-from ankush to apaharan.
In ankush he is a loud violent character but in apaharan he is a cold violent character. But the degree of the violent nature is same in both the characters. No any other actor has touched this abnormal predominance of sensibility as Nana Patekar has touched. The reason is very simple. What he is in his personal life he reflects before the camera and creates wonder on the screen. And he knows his strength. At the same times he is found of rifle shooting. He has won many meddles in shooting. His shooting tendency also indicates his innermost anger and concentration. Anger is a negative force or passion if it has no objective. Or it can be said any abnormal pre-dominance of sensibility leads a man to disaster if it is without objective and insight. Nana patekar is very clear to his objective so he plays with his anger in a very systematic way, through concentration. Dramatically he changes his negative energy to positive one. He is not a multi-dimensional actor but with only one dominating passion, anger.
His irritability over reproductive or enmity with woman can also be seen in his personal life.
Is Amol Palekar a genius? He has an abnormal predominance of sensibility and irritability over reproductive power? He has tender and delicate approach to society; specially the middle class. He is very simple and lucid in his acting and all the characters played by him on the silver screen were admired specially by the middle class. Why? Again the answer is very simple. By nature he has all the qualities-passion and temperament-of a middle class youth who had his own specific pain and pleasure in day-today life affairs. So here, without temperament of abnormality he has established himself as a natural actor and it is his great achievement. He touches the heart of the middle class family in a very lucid manner. And he is a very perfect performer. Through more and more observation and practice a man can be perfect like any computer operator or a cricket player. His acting is simple as a flow of sleeping river in which anyone can enter without a fear of danger. But Nana Patekar is like a live volcano, full of anger. In the theatre he kidnaps your mind. Even after existing from the theatre many more think and behave like him unconsciously. With Amol Palekar one shares with his won life but Nana Patekar does not give this opportunity. He breaks the threads of the audience’s mind through his genius work that has an abnormal predominance of sensibility. Both Nana Patekar and Amol Palekar are performers but with different and opposite temperaments.

Now what about woman, from Madubala to Madhuri Dixit and so many other female beauties who are playing different roles on silver screen ? Feminist thinkers have their right to react against Schopenhauer’s words about woman , ” Women may have many great talent, but no genius for them everything is personal and is viewed as means to end.”
The unsociability of a genius is emphasized loudly by Schopenhauer. He says, ”A genius is thinking of the fundamental, the universal, the eternal, others are thinking of the temporary, the specific, the immediate; his mind and there ones’ have no common ground and never meets. Amir khan is up to mark of this statement of Schopenhauer. He thinks of fundamental, the universal and the eternal and, of course, he is a kind of unsocial animal. Sharukh Khan may be a brilliant performer but not genius.
In conclusion, it can be said that Schopenhauer is not ultimate truth. It just provides a base to think about something deeply. Here an honest attempt has been taken to find out genius from Indian cinema according to the given formula of Schopenhauer. one is free to think according to his own way.

dhanyavad

बर्बाद गुलिस्ता करने को …..

Technorati Tags: व्यंग्य,satire,hindi literature

टी वी वाली ममता जी ने आज अपने ब्लाग पर एक मौजू सवाल उठाया है. वह यह कि क्या वाकई उल्लू के साथ-साथ लक्ष्मी जी आती है? क्या सचमुच जहा उल्लू होते है, वहा लक्ष्मी जी भी होती है? पहली नजर मे अगर अपने अनुभवो के आधार पर अगर बात की जाए तो उनके इस सवाल का जवाब सकारात्मक ही होता है. क्योंकि जहा तक नजर जाती है दिखाई तो यही देता है कि धनवान होने के लिए पढे-लिखे होने की जरूरत नही होती है. इसका पहला उदाहरण तो यह है कि सारे पढने-लिखने वाले लोगो का इरादा कम से कम भारत मे तो एक ही होता है और वह अच्छी से अच्छी नौकरी हासिल करना. यानी नौकर बनना. इसी सिलसिले मे एक शेर भी है : बी ए किया नौकर हुए और मर गए ….
  

सुनते है कि हिन्दुस्तान मे कभी ऐसा भी समय था जब पढने-लिखने का अंतिम उद्देश्य नौकरी करना नही होता था. तब शायद नौकरी के लिए पढाई जरूरी नही थी. लेकिन जब से हम देख रहे है तब से तो नौकरी के लिए पढाई जरूरी नही, अनिवार्य है. बल्कि पढाई का एक ही उद्देश्य रह गया है और वह है नौकरी करना. जितनी अच्छी पढाई उतनी अच्छी नौकरी. पर अब तो यह भी जरूरी नही रह गया है. बहुत ज्यादा और अच्छी पढाई करके भी मामूली नौकरी से गुजारा करना पड सकता है और मामूली पढाई से भी बहुत अच्छी नौकरी हासिल हो सकती है. यह भी हो सकता है कि मामूली पढाई से आप नौकर रखने की हैसियत बना ले.

वैसे पढाई हमेशा नौकरी करने के लिए ही जरूरी रही है. नौकर रखने यानी मालिक बनने के लिए पढाई कभी जरूरी नही रही है. आज भी देखिए, हमारे देश मे नीतियो का अनुपालन करने यानी चपरासी से अफसर बनने तक के लिए तो योग्यता निर्धारित है, लेकिन नीति नियंता बनने के लिए कोई खास योग्यता जरूरी नही है. यह बात भारतीय गणतंत्र के उच्चतम पदो पर सुशोभित होकर कुछ लोग साबित कर चुके है. यह बात केवल भारत मे हो, ऐसा भी नही है. दुनिया भर के कई देशो मे उच्चतम पदो पर सुशोभित लोग अपनी नीतियो से दुनिया को जिस ओर ले जा रहे है उससे तो यही लगता है कि हर शाख पे ………..

ये फिराक साहब भी कुछ अजीब ही शै थे. ये ठीक है कि हर शाख पे उल्लू बैठा है, पर इससे ये कहा साबित होता है कि ये दुनिया का चमन है वो कही बर्बादी की दिशा मे बढ रहा है. कभी-कभी तो मुझे लगता है कि या तो फिराक साहब किसी और गुलिस्ता की बात कर रहे थे या फिर उल्लू से खार खाए बैठे थे या फिर उनके नजरिये मे ही कुछ गड्बडी थी. वरना तो गुलिस्ता की बर्बादी के लिए उल्लू को जिम्मेदार ठहराने का कोई तुक ही नही बनता है. उनके पहले परसाई भी उल्लू लोगो के बारे मे ऐसे ही काफी कुछ अनाप-शनाप कह गए है.

मुझे लगता है कि ये सारे वक्तव्य कुंठा मे दिए गए वक्तव्य है. कायदे इन रचनाकारो को उल्लू जी लोगो की आव-भगत करनी चाहिए थी. जैसे गधे को बाप बोलते है वैसे ही इन्हे भी कम से कम चाचा तो बोलना ही चाहिए. हालांकि बाद की पीढी के कुछ साहित्यकारो ने यह भी किया. वे आज तक ऐसा कर रहे है और इसका भरपूर लाभ भी उठा रहे है. अकादमियो और पीठो से लेकर कई-कई समितियो तक इनके दर्शन किए जा सकते है. आखिर लक्ष्मी मैया ने इन्हे अपना रथ और सारथी दोनो एक साथ ऐसे ही थोडे बना लिया होगा. हम यह क्यो भूल जाते है कि अन्धेरे मे  देखने की कूवत तो सिर्फ और सिर्फ उल्लू जी लोगो के पास ही होती है.

dhanyavad

हमारा और गिल साहब का हाकी प्रेम

Technorati Tags: खेल,sports

Technorati Tags: satire,hindi literature,व्यंग्य

हाकी के  खेल से मुझे बहुत प्यार है. करीब-करीब उतना ही जितना गिल साहब को या शाहरुख खान को. यह दावा तो मै नही कर सकता कि तभी से जब से इन दोनो स्टारो को है, पर इतना तो मै दावे के साथ कह ही सकता हू मुझे भी हाकी के उसी तत्व से प्रेम है, जिससे इन दोनो महानुभावो का है. हाकी के प्रति सम्वेदनशील हर व्यक्ति का प्रेम सही पूछिए तो हाकी के उसी तत्व से है. यह तत्व है हाकी स्टिक.

जी हा! यकीन मानिए, हाकी के खेल से जुडे मूढ्मति लोगो ने इस तत्व की बडी उपेक्षा की है. यह बात केवल हिन्दुस्तानी हाकी चिंतको के साथ हो, ऐसा भी नही है. अव्वल तो उपेक्षा का यह आरोप दुनिया भर के हाकीवादियो पर वैसे ही यूनिफार्मली सही है जैसे दुनिया भर के राजनेताओ पर चरित्रवान होने की बात. क्रिकेट के लोगो ने इस बात को समझा और नतीजा सबके सामने है. उन्होने बाल से ज्यादा बैट पर ध्यान दिया. उनकी यह रीति हमेशा से चली आ रही है. आज भारत और पाकिस्तान से लेकर आस्ट्रेलिया तक क्रिकेट रनो और ओवरो के लिए उतना नही जाना जाता जितना विवादो के लिए.  वैसे भी खेल के लिए कोई कितने दिनो के लिए जाना जा सकता है? ज्यादा से ज्यादा उतने दिन जब तक खेल चले. इसके बाद? कोई जिक्र तक नही करता.

तो साल भर चर्चा मे बने रहने के लिए तो कोई न कोई एक्स्ट्रा एफर्ट चाहिए न! यह एक्स्ट्रा एफर्ट आखिर कैसे किया जाए? अब या तो सिनेमा की तरह पूरे साल कुछ न कुछ प्यार-व्यार के झूठे किस्से ही चलाए जाए या फिर विवाद गरमाए जाए. हाकी वालो के प्यार-व्यार के किस्से को कोई बहुत तर्जीह इस्लिए नही देगा क्योंकि इनकी भरती सिनेमा वालो की तरह रंग-रूप के आधार पर होती नही. जाहिर है, इनको सुन्दरता के आधार पर प्यार वाला ग्रेस मिलने से रहा. मिलना होता तो लालू जी ने पी टी उषा के बजाय बिहार की सड्को को हेमामालिनी के गाल जैसे बनाने की बात नही की होती. तो जाहिर है कि हाकी को चर्चा विवादो से ही मिलनी है और विवाद पैदा होते है डंडे से. डंडा यानी स्टिक.                

दरसल हाकी से मेरा पहला परिचय भी इसी रूप मे हुआ था. हुआ यह कि स्कूल के दिनो मे कुछ मित्रो से विवाद हुआ. उन दिनो स्कूलो मे कट्टा आदि कोर्स मे शामिल नही थे. पर हाकी थी. लिहाजा अपने बचाव के लिए मै हाकी लेकर  गया और फिर मुझे रन बनाना नही पडा. मैने अपने प्रतिस्पर्धी गुट से कई रन बनवाए.निश्चित रूप से गिल साहब का परिचय भी हाकी से इसी तरह हुआ होगा.  इसका सफल प्रयोग उन्होने पंजाब मे किया. इस सम्बन्ध मे किसी से कोई प्रमाण पत्र लेने की जरूरत नही है.

स्टिक यानी डंडे का एक मतलब लाठी भी होता है. लाठी हमारी संस्क्रिति का उतना ही अभिन्न अंग है जितना कि भ्रष्टाचार. बालको का उपनयन यानी जनेऊ होता है तो तमाम संस्कारो के बाद उन्हे दंड यानी लाठी ही थमाई जाती है. वे लाठी लेकर विद्या ग्रहण करने निकलते है. विद्यालय मे गुरुजन भी लाठी रखते है. सरकार मे पुलिस से लेकर बाबू और अफसर तक सभी किसी न किसी तरह की लाठी जरूर रखते है. उसी लाठी से वे हमेशा यह साबित करते रहते है कि भैंस उनकी है. इसीलिए जिसकी लाठी उसकी भैंस हमारे देश का सर्वमन्य सिद्धांत और कानून है.

गिल साहब इसका प्रयोग हर तरह से कर चुके है. पंजाब मे उन्होने लाठी के ही दम पर साबित किय था कि यह हमारा है.  लाठी से ही उन्होने पंजाब से आतंकवाद खत्म किया था. गिल साहब दो ही बातो के लिए तो जाने जाते है. एक लाठी चलाने और दूसरा खत्म करने के लिए. जिस दिन उन्हे भारतीय हाकी संघ का सरपरस्त बनाया गया, अपन तो उसी दिन आश्वस्त हो गए थे. हाकी के भविष्य की चिंता हमने उसी दिन से छोड दी. इस्के बाद अगर किसी ने चिंता जारी रखी तो उसे हमने वही समझा जो हमारे भारत के नेता लोग जनता को समझते है. मै गिल साहब की प्रतिभा को जानता हू, पर क्या बताऊ मेरे हाथ मे कोई जोरदार लाठी नही है. वरना मै गिल साहब भारतीय राजनीति का सरपरस्त बनाता. आप अन्दाजा लगा सकते है कि फिर क्या होता!

dhanyavad

कफ सिरप पीजिए, क्योंकि ये 1000 करोड़ रु का बिजनेस है

कफ सिरप यानी वो दवा जिससे दुनिया की किसी बीमारी का इलाज नहीं होता। दुनिया का हर डॉक्टर जानता है कि खांसी-जुकाम जल्द ठीक करने में कफ सिरप की कोई भूमिका नहीं है। ओवर द काउंटर कफ सिरप लेना खासकर बच्चों के लिए खतरनाक हो सकता है। यूएस एफडीए कह चुका है कि दो साल से छोटे बच्चों को देना उनके लिए जानलेवा हो सकता है।

यूएस एफडीए की 17 जनवरी 2008 को जारी वार्निंग पढ़ें-

“The FDA strongly recommends to parents and caregivers that OTC cough and cold medicines not be used for children younger than 2,” said Charles Ganley, M.D., director of the FDA’s Office of Nonprescription Products. “These medicines, which treat symptoms and not the underlying condition, have not been shown to be safe or effective in children under 2.”

2 साल से बड़े बच्चों के बारे में एफडीए की स्टडी का नतीजा आना है लेकिन उसकी साफ राय है कि

“Understand that these drugs will NOT cure or shorten the duration of the common cold”

भारत में सेहत को लेकर अज्ञान और डॉक्टर को बिना वजह भगवान मानने की प्रवृत्ति इतनी प्रबल है कि इस बारे में सवाल भी नहीं उठता कि जिस देश में हर साल साढ़े तीन लाख लोग टीबी से मरते हैं वहां सबसे ज्यादा बिकने वाली दवा का नाम कोरेक्स क्यों है। देश में एक महीने में कोरेक्स की सेल से फाइजर को साढ़े तेरह करोड़ रुपए मिलते हैं। दवा की मासिक सेल की रिपोर्ट इसी हफ्ते आई है। कोरेक्स है तो प्रेस्क्रिप्शन ड्रग पर इसे आम तौर पर लोग ओवर द काउंटर ही खरीदते हैं।

क्या इस स्थिति को बदलने में भारत सरकार की इसमें कोई भूमिका हो सकती है। मेरी राय है – नहीं। इस बारे में मेरा एक लेख आप दैनिक जागरण में पढ़ सकते हैं।

dhanyavad

A letter to Miss X

(A story by alok nandan)
I am not Voltaire; and you are not Marquise Du Chatelet. But to me you are not less than Chatelet, although we have not lived together, studying Newton’s Principia, physics and history, playing in a private theatre like them. Physically we are two poles apart, but still your influence is within me, something very deep in the inner most part of my heart and over my creative mind. I wept bitterly, but not before you, when you told that you are in love with someone.
You are a brilliant woman, and you have a powerful intellect.When you told me that you were translating Vergil I was surprised as I had already read that the same work had been by Chatelet when she was in her sweet sixteen. Do you remember how I reacted then? I told, ‘For a long time I have been looking for Chatelet.’
‘Chatelte!’ exclaimed you.
‘Marquise Du Chatelet, whom Voltaire would love and she dominated him sixteen years,’ said I, looking into your life full eyes.
Well, today you are far from me and after a long period I have sit to write you. But space and time has not changed my mind; you are always before my eyes, no matter either they are closed or opened, though I struggle hard to erase your face, unsuccessful attempts one after another. Very frank to you, in spite of being a logical man I could not control my mind, and not even today. In fact I have lost my intellectual peace since you parted from me. The world teach me a lesion, ”Nothing ever goes according to plan.” But you still remain in the chamber of my mind.
My destiny has decided something different to me, I wanted to play with words so that one day I could express myself forcefully before the world through my pen, all my smile and tears. But all of sudden I was kicked into a world of secret agents where I was given a code number 144.It was my new identity, I lost my name for ever. And very soon I realized that a global war was going around me for military, industrial, economical and cultural supremacy and who were the players of this terrific game was not known to me, even till now I do not know about them. I was just a small fish in the dog eat’s dog world. And now the game is finished as I have been captured in a war zone and my fate has been decided- certainly I will be killed.
‘God gave us reason as he gave feathers to birds and fur to bears.’ These word of Voltaire never satisfied me, especially after meeting you. I realized that heart is more important than the mind. Again and again I tried my level best to come over my heart, I used all the method to activate my mind but all vent into vain. Centre of life is not mind but heart, not reason but feeling. You always laughed when I d explained Voltaire in this regard. I enjoyed your laughing. Oh! Your tears were too horrible, at least to me.
It was a moonless night, you were busy with your telescope, in star-gazing. When you told me to watch a little star through your telescope, I bent down and felt warmth of your fascinating breath, though you were completely unaware of my feeling, about my warm feeling. After a long while when I disclosed the feeling of that day you said, ” A woman should never believe a man, after all a man is man.” Tears came in your eyes and I was in state of bewilderment. I could not understand the meaning of your tears and mysterious words. What do you mean by a man is a man ?
In order to understand the meaning of your tears and mysterious words I went deep into the mind of Segmund Frieud. Having read him thoroughly, about conscious, sub-conscious and un-conscious, I was surprised of his own statement, ”I am not sure whatever I have written about woman is true, because, after all, I am not a woman. ” He was very much honest regarding this statement. Since then I left my efforts to understand the meaning of your tears and words. After that I became a silent lover.
But one day when you told me that you had a great regard to me I was sad as black clouds. I never wanted your regard, but love, love of a woman, love of a complete woman like you.
Once you told me that I was genius, because I was a man of knowledge. The words of Schopenhaur reflected in my mind,” The Fundamental condition of a genius is an abnormal pre-dominance of sensibility and irritability over reproductive power.”
I told you, ”According to Schopenhaur I cannot be a genius, as, to him, enmity between genius and woman is universal. And I love woman.” Before you a lot of woman came in my life. I told you about all of those women. One of them was a professor, to whom I was fascinated lustfully, not intellectually and emotionally.You listened my words carefully and then discussed about the relationship between a man and a woman. So I am not a genius according to Schopenhaur.
Do you remember you were fond of movies and music. You’d like French film very much, specially the new wave movement’s films. You loved Godard too much. Do you still love him? In Indian film maker list you loved Gurudutt most. You always loved classics, unfortunately I was not in your list, why not ? why not?? why not??? I hate you, I hate you from the bottom of my heart. Oh, no! still I love you like Voltaire would love Marquise du chatelet.
Chateltet, at the court of Lorraine, fell in love with Marquis de saint-Lambert, a young officer of the guard.
In the autumn of 1748 Voltaire accidentally discovered their relationship, and for some hours he was furious. Anyhow he managed to control of his mind like me when you first disclosed your relationship with a young boy. I was highly upset like Voltaire. Can you imagine about the mental condition a man who has lost his love? For you I cannot say the words of William Shakespear –’Fidelity! thy the name is woman !’ Yes it was one-sided love. There was no sign of fidelity. It was my fault and I had to pay for it, even today I am paying for it.
But how it was possible that you did not understand the language of eyes ? It is said that a woman has a sixth sense. Anyway forget it. The past has no meaning. But really it is possible to forget the past? Too difficult to do it. Better to say ”impossible.”
How can I forget your alive eyes, full of dreams and promise, your touching smile, blunt-cut hair, funny style and above all impulsive nature and bright mind ? I can’t.
Chatetelet finished her Newton a few hours before a child was born and died 10 days latter on 10 the September 1749. Voltaire was stricken. With passionate grief, he said to Saint-Lambert, whom he had anyhow accepted, ”It is not at all a mistress I have lost; I have lost half of myself, a mind for whom mine was made; a friend of twenty years. I loved her as the most tender father loves her daughter.”
The news of your death came to me when I was in a war zone and I felt down. The words of your friend were still airing on my mobile and then and there I was arrested in my unconscious state of mind. The countdown has been started, the death is before my eyes. I am going to close my eyes so that I can see your face last time. Through these words let the world know the mystery and composition of love, and endless love.These words are not for you, my sweet heart!, these words are not for you. I am just writing these words for my sake.
Now I am listening the sound of boots- the sound of death, one, two, three, four…where are you? Would you meet me after the death ? Is there life after the death ?

The end

dhanyavad